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Thank you. Mr. Bush Jr., for all your help and that of your admirable administration. What would we do without you?

 Up to now we were hopelessly ignorant and undecided whether Arafat is a terrorist, or whether Begin was a terrorist, or whether Shamir was a terrorist or whether Sharon is a terrorist. The doubtful period is over, now we know: A terrorist is a terrorist if the US administration says he is a terrorist. Now we know and do not have to wonder any more. It is good to have clear guidelines, in particular if they come from the middle of Texas, where the view is not blurred by realities.

 Up to now we had doubts about peace and war, we were pondering in sleepless nights whether conflicts and occupation are wars or whether wars and occupation are conflicts, whether a ceasefire is peace or whether peace is just a ceasefire. We were in doubt, but that is over now. We now have clear rules at long last. The US administration again has made matters clear: Ceasefire is when the Israeli Government says it is ceasefire, and occupation is not war, occupation is not a conflict, occupation is self defence and nothing else and has got nothing to do with conflicts, but only with the fight against terrorism.

 Up to now we had doubts what to think about contemporary Israeli politicians, we were not sure whether Peres really deserved the Nobel price for much longer, and where to put Sharon. We were really worried about these humiliating remarks from Norway, calling on Mr. Peres to return the Nobel Prize. We were in doubt, but that is over now: You, Mr. Bush, and Your US administration have made matters clear in this respect as well: Sharon is "a man of peace! " and that word makes matters easier: if Sharon is  a “man of peace", then no foolish Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee can even contemplate that Peres should return the prize. Quite the opposite - Oslo can really only consider one choice: Peres should get it again along with his PM Sharon. A man of peace deserves awards like this, and Peres will probably also need the money. And you and Mr. Blair would surely wait a year.

 Up to now, we, Europeans were not sure where we stood and what should our role be in fighting terrorism and the "axis of evil". We were seriously thinking that there must be other ways than those used just now in Afghanistan, but we will have to apologise for these foolish thoughts. The definitions of the US administration are very clear: The United States is leading the fight against terrorism. This of course needs a crystal clear allocation of tasks - the American Forces have to bomb everything down to crumbs and dust, sometimes this job is taken over by the Israeli Defence Forces (that is why they are called Defence Forces), and the English are selected to help a little now and then (as they have been trying to be good boys) whereas the rest of the world is allowed to clean everything up and to build the houses for the new world order. The US administration helps by pledging aid, which of course is difficult to be turned into cash, as the cash is needed to buy new weapons (surely not for mass destruction, gatherings under 1,000 people are not considered to be a mass, see also damage, collateral) and to replace the ammunition needed by the Israeli Defence Forces for the next bombardment. This does though not really matter. The EU have got to get their economy going anyhow and the Germans have got a bank for reconstruction since long time, which does not really have to reconstruct anything in Germany at the time being.

 Up to now the Muslim and the Christian world believed that there are limits and that sacred places should stay sacred places. Again the US administration has helped: Sacred places are only sacred places if the US administration says they are sacred places, and the US administration has defined that Christian and Muslim sacred places are no sacred places any more. Sacred places do only exist in two regions and for two groups of human beings: For U.S. American Government Members in the United States (like pentagons, certain agricultural premises in Texas, white houses) and for men of peace in Israel. The AI Aqsa Mosque and the Church of Nativity have - not before time - been downgraded to exercise areas for the Israeli forces, which of course stands to reason, as occupation is self defence (see above) and that can best be trained in occupied areas and Mekka and Rome are too far away for logistic reasons. The Pope has obviously agreed to this, as you Mr. Bush, have not yet been excommunicated (well, in all fairness, he and the American Cardinals are busy with other issues at the moment and he cannot deal with all the petty items in this world). It is only the consent of these stubborn Muslims, which is outstanding, and that is very vexing. They have got Mekka and Medina, what for do they need another mosque and in particular that one in Jerusalem?

 Up to now we were made to believe that there is something like the Geneva Convention, on which quite a few countries had agreed upon some years ago. But thanks to you, and thanks to your administration and your advisers in Israel, we now know that this convention is a fairly useless piece of paper (there are some more papers of this kind, like the Agreement of Kyoto, Disarmament Agreements, WTO Agreements and so forth), because it is to the disadvantage of the aggressor and offender and that is no good. Agreements like this are no good anyhow, because they are written on paper, the production of which is a clear threat to the American wildlife. Any reduction of agreements will therefore lead to a reduction of forest exploitation, a major target of your government, and thus allow drilling for oil again. But back to the Geneva Convention, which is obviously going to be abolished shortly. The death of civilians, defined in US administration as self-defence actions (ADSDA), as in Afghanistan and Jenin, is clearly covered by the term "Collateral Damage" and therefore does not need bothering about any more. It is nice to know this, because now we can stop wondering whether the death of at least 3,000 civilians in Afghanistan and at least the same number in Israel and Palestine is justified or not. All said and done, in the end we have all got to die anyway, and these deaths fall under collateral damage, which makes them a little insignificant, yes. But at least they have been categorized, and that is all what really matters, doesn't it?

 Up to now we had these stupid rules in virtually all laws in the world, that the prosecution should be independent and impartial, and we did even try to follow them as diligently as ever possible. We have even undergone the pain to put up International Tribunals, where again however an internationally recognised tribunal is only recognised, if it is recognised by the US administration. This quarrelling is over now and we should never have bothered and wasted time and energy, because the US administration has now found out that this is useless. First of all, we have to abolish this costly law enforcement system -it is much easier to bring all suspects to Guantanamo and to let them wait either for their natural death or for the US Forces Martial Courts, who are there anyhow and do not really cost any additional money. This would be all the suspects can wait for, because for justice they would be waiting forever. This would of course apply to all people and governments on earth, but not for the US American and the Israeli government and their forces, as they are different. Secondly, all investigation committees for the latter should be approved by those who are going to be investigated. It is quite obvious that law enforcement will be done much better by those who have violated the laws, because they know what they have done wrong. This would save us all lengthy and costly investigations and would make it unnecessary to have attorneys and prosecutors and to agree upon members of such a committee, for example. And we would not need to bother stubborn Norwegian and Irish UN employees, who we could make redundant by the way, and we could abolish the UN as well, as soon as Mr. Annan has completed his term. Not earlier, because he is a very good speaker and he deserves his salary and a nice far a well party. This is really very good to know. OK, it will take us some time to wind the law enforcement up and it might increase the unemployment rates, but in long term it is much cheaper and would save forest exploitation again, as legal books would not be required any longer, although we in Europe might have to contribute to the costs of Guantanamo, although that is not really a reconstruction, is it?

 Up to now we - and that includes American journalists as well - were of the opinion, that the media should be allowed to go anywhere and to check anything, even if we did not always agree with their way of doing it. But also here we have to admit that the reasoning of the American Defence is not without merits. Journalists as a rule a nosy lot, many of them do not only eat garlic, they also want to know all sorts of things. This of course is causing disruption in the daily life of the Forces, be it the American or the Israeli, and that is no good because then they are distracted from fighting terrorism (see above) and from defensive actions like occupations. The single member of the forces might even start thinking, and that is no good either. And that is why the wise rules set up by the US American Defence Secretary (nomen est omen) should really be applied in any place. Journalists should only deal with matters, which they might be able to understand, but they should not be involved in checking military actions. They do not really understand what all these tactical or strategic actions are all about, and they would only confuse the public by bringing in funny ideas of humanity or Geneva Conventions. This will generally make our life much easier. As already practised during the military actions on the Balkan and just now in Afghanistan the media would just get an e‑mail from your Defence Secretary (nomen est still omen) in the morning containing all the unclassified information (which will make them rather short then and much cheaper), which could be entered into the computer for a direct entry in the papers. Journalists would not be necessary for this purpose any more, which in turn would raise the American MP, as journalist are only costing money anyhow.

 Once more, thank you, Mr. Bush, we now know where we are.